If I Were You
By Douglas James

About the Author

Image: james-douglas.ch

Introduction

This play is the story of an intruder. He breaks into a lonely house. A man named Gerrard lives there. He is a playwright. The intruder is a criminal. He has killed a policeman and is now on the run. This man has some physical resemblance to Gerrard. His plan is to kill Gerrard and live there under his name. But Gerrard is smarter than the criminal. He tells the intruder that he has also killed someone and the police are after him. He offers to take the intruder in his car to safety. He opens a door and tells the intruder that it goes to the garage. As soon as the intruder enters, Gerrard locks the door. In fact it is not the way to a garage but the door of a cupboard. Then he phones the police to come and arrest the intruder.

The play thus brings out that intelligence and presence of mind can help us come out of trickiest of situations.

Characters

Intruder

The intruder is a criminal who has been eluding the police ever since he killed a cop. Having no sense of remorse for the crime he has committed, he is further sinking in the mire of criminal activities. Over-confidence makes him feel that he has made a brilliant plan of murdering Gerrard and escaping the law by impersonating him. However, he is soon outwitted by Gerrard and he unsuspectingly walks into the latter’s trap. All his tall claims about his intelligence prove to be hollow. This heartless and hardened criminal meets a befitting end.

Gerrard

Gerrard is associated with the theatre. He writes, acts and provides props for plays. He is a refined and a cultured man, who keeps his cool even in the most difficult situations. The sight of an intruder doesn’t ruffle him and he talks to him very courteously and pleasantly. His sense of humour irritates the intruder many times. Even when acting funny, he keeps his presence of mind and lays a trap for the intruder. Everything comes so naturally and spontaneously to him that the intruder walks into his trap unsuspectingly. Gerrard’s intelligence not only outwits the intruder and saves his own life, but also helps the police in nabbing a wanted criminal.

Summary

“If I Were You” is an interesting play that has mystery, suspense, surprise and humour. It is a story in which an intruder intends to kill Gerrard and impersonate him to escape the law but the tables are turned on him as he is trapped due to Gerrard’s presence of mind.

Gerrard is an actor-playwright. He is well-educated, fearless and full of humour. The play opens with Gerrard answering a phone call which is from a client whom he promises to deliver the props for rehearsal. So after the talk is over, he starts packing a travelling bag. Suddenly a man enters silently from the right. He is similar to Gerrard in appearance. He has a revolver in his hand. This intruder is a criminal. He orders Gerrard to put up his hands. Gerrard obeys him but is not afraid. He talks pleasantly to the intruder. The intruder warns to stop being smart and answers his questions. Gerrard says he cannot feel comfortable while his hands are up. The intruder asks him to sit in a chair.

From their conversation, we come to know that Gerrard’s full name is Vincent Charles Gerrard. He lives there alone. He has a car also. He is a sort of mystery man. Sometimes he is here and the very next day he is nowhere to be seen. He gives his orders on phone and never meets tradesmen.

Then the intruder tells Gerrard about himself. He is a criminal. He specializes in a jewel robbery. He has killed a policeman. Now the police are after him. He knows that he bears a resemblance to Gerrard. Then he tells his plan to Gerrard. He has decided to kill Gerrard and live there under the identity of Gerrard. From the intruder’s way of talking, Gerrard guesses that he is a foolish, boastful man. It would not be difficult to get rid of this man.

Gerrard makes up a story. He says that he is also a criminal and a murderer. The police are also in search Of him. That is why he lives in a mysterious way. He often disappears from there. He tells the intruder that it would be a folly to kill him. He killed him, he would be hanged, if not as himself, then as Gerrard. The intruder begins to think. This is an opportunity for Gerrard. He offers to take the intruder to a safe place in his car. He asks him to hurry up as the police may come there any time. The intruder is taken in. Gerrard opens a door and asks the intruder to enter it. He tells him that the door goes to the garage and they will escape in his car. Just the intruder turns his head to step in, Gerrard pushes him and knocks the revolver out of his hand. Then he shuts the door and locks it. In fact, the door does not lead to any garage. It is the door of his cupboard. The intruder shouts from inside to let him out. But Gerrard picks up the phone and tells the police to come. In this way, Gerrard saves his life by a clever trick. Gerrard is so amused by this incident that he decides to use it as the plot for his next play.

Short Answer Type Questions

Q1. What did Gerrard tell the intruder about himself? Was he telling the truth? Why/Why not?

Ans. Gerrard told the intruder that as a child, he was stolen by the gipsies and now in his thirties, he was all alone in life. He was not telling the truth; he was just being funny as he wished to make it clear that he was not afraid of a gun-toting criminal. In fact, Gerrard had already started concocting stories about himself.

Q2. What sort of information does the intruder want from Gerrard?

Ans. The intruder wants personal details from Gerrard like whether in the lives alone, what his Christian name is, whether he has a car and whether people visit him. All this information is necessary for the execution of his plan to dodge the police by disguising it himself as Gerrard.

Q3. What sort of a person is the intruder? Give examples to illustrate.

Ans. The intruder is a dangerous person as he is carrying a pistol and claims to have killed a cop. He is mean, heartless and crafty, for he plans to kill Gerrard and assume his identity in order to escape the police. He is over-confident because he claims that Gerrard is no match for him. He is also boastful, uncouth and uncultured so as is evident from a remark he makes, ‘Put up your paws’.

Q4. Why does the intruder intend to kill Gerrard?

Ans. The intruder is a criminal who is being chased by the police for having murdered a cop. As per his plan, the intruder intends to kill Gerrard in order to take on his identity and avoid being caught by the police. In this way, he can lead a peaceful life without being haunted by the fear of arrest and punishment.

Q5. How did Gerrard behave on seeing a gun-toting stranger in his cottage?

Ans. Gerrard kept his cool and remained absolutely unruffled when he saw the gun-totting stranger in his cottage. There was neither any panic nor any ring of tension in his voice. He remained his normal self and talked to him casually.

Q6. Why does the intruder not kill Gerrard immediately?

Ans. The intruder does not kill Gerrard immediately because he first wants to get all the necessary information from him. Without this information, his plan to disguise and act as Gerrard will not succeed.

Q7. Why does the intruder call himself ‘a poor hunted rat’?

Ans. The intruder describes himself as ‘a poor hunted rat’ because he is being chased by the police and he has to keep dodging them. He has killed a cop and is trying to escape punishment by hiding like a rat being chased by a cat.

Q8. Why did very few people come to Gerrard’s house? Who were the few people who visited him?

Ans. Gerrard lived all alone in a secluded place and his theatrical performances made his schedule irregular. He was hardly at home, so very few people came to his house. He was visited only by his regular suppliers like the baker, the greengrocer and the milkman.

Q9. “They cannot hang me twice.” Who says this and why?
Ans. The intruder says this because he is already wanted for having murdered a cop. If he manages to kill Gerrard, as per his plan, the punishment for this murder too, like the first one, will be a death sentence. Hence, he cannot be hanged twice by the police.

Q10. “A mystery I propose to explain.” What is the mystery the speaker proposes to explain?

Ans. Gerrard, the speaker, proposes to explain the mystery about his queer life in which he has an irregular routine, refuses to see tradesmen, goes away and comes back to the house hurriedly. Gerrard has already concocted a story attributing his strange behaviour to his being a criminal wanted in many cases of crime.

Q11. “This is your big surprise”. Who says these words in the play? When and where? What is the surprise?

Ans. This has been said by Gerrard when the intruder asks him to clarify how he could still be killed after assuming Vincent Charles Gerrard’s identity. This is a surprise for the intruder who never suspected Gerrard to be a criminal. According to his information, Gerrard seemed to be the perfect person who could be easily eliminated and then impersonated.

Q12. Why and how did Gerrard persuade the intruder to get into the cupboard?

Ans. Gerrard concocted a story about his own criminal background. He gave the intruder the impression that the police were looking for him and he expected a telephone call from a friend informing the police’s arrival. So when the telephone rang, he hurried the intruder into the cupboard and told him that it was connected to the garage which was an escape route.

Q13. What is Gerrard’s profession? Quote the parts of the play.
Ans. support your answer. Gerrard is associated with theatre as a writer, producer and director. He also supplies props and makeup materials to other theatre agencies. The following facts reveal his profession clearly.

He tells the intruder that his actions are ‘melodramatic’ but not ‘very original’.
He welcomes the intruder as a ‘sympathetic audience’.
He comments on the intruder’s ‘inflexion of voice’.
He tells someone over the phone that he cannot deliver the props in time.
He also tells that person that he had ‘an amusing spot of bother’ which he might put into his next play.

Q14. How does Gerrard imprison the intruder and save his life?

Ans. Gerrard asks the intruder to run away from there with him because the police may come at any time. He opens a door. He says that this door leads to the garage. The intruder steps in. It was the cupboard door. Gerrard pushes the intruder in and shuts the door. Thus he imprisons the intruder and saves his life.

Long Answer Type Questions

Q1. Gerrard talks pleasantly with the intruder. Was he really pleased to see the criminal?

Ans. Gerrard is living alone in his house. One day an intruder enters his room. There is a gun in his hand and he threatens to kill Gerrard. But Gerrard does not panic. He is a clever man. He has understood that the criminal has evil intentions. He knows that if he fights with the intruder, he will be killed. So his best chance is to talk with the intruder in a friendly manner. Even the intruder notes it and says that Gerrard is trying to be calm and careless. By talking pleasantly, Gerrard makes the intruder delay his plan of killing him. So Gerrard tells him that he is pleased to see him. We know that this is a lie. He was not really pleased to see the criminal. By engaging the intruder in talks, Gerrard comes to know that he is not an intelligent man and it is not difficult to befool him. Gerrard’s behaviour shows that he is a sensible person. He knows how to behave in a crisis. In the end, he is able to lock the intruder in a cupboard and calls the police.

Q2. The best way to deal with a crisis is not to lose your calm. Discuss this statement with reference to the behaviour of Gerrard in the play.

Ans. A cool person is more successful than a person who loses his temper or acts rashly. In this play, Gerrard saves his life by acting calmly. Moreover, he is able to catch the murderer also. It would not be possible if he lost his calm. An ordinary person is terrified of seeing an intruder with a gun in his hand. He acts foolishly. The person fears that he may not harm him. So, generally, in such cases, the criminal kills his victim. But Gerrard does not lose his calmness and patience. He poses that he is pleased to see the intruder. He talks to him a friendly manner. He makes the criminal talk about himself. This gives Gerrard enough time to plan his line of action. Thus Gerrard was not frightened to see the intruder: This calmness saved his life.

Q3. Bring out Gerrard’s intelligence, the presence of mind and sense of humour. How did these traits help him outwit the intruder?

Ans. Being an intelligent person, Gerrard did not show even the slightest of nervousness at the sight of the gun-toting criminal. He knew that his cool-headedness and presence of mind would not only help him to manage the crisis but would also contribute towards unnerving the intruder, who too must be having some fear lurking in his mind. Keeping the atmosphere light and lively with his sense of humour and funny remarks, Gerrard instantly cooked up a story about his criminal background. Convincing the intruder that the police would arrive any minute to nab them, he impressed upon the intruder that they would have to escape immediately. Cleverly, he made him peep into a cupboard saying that it was an escape route. The moment the intruder leaned forward to inspect it, Gerrard pushed him into the cupboard and knocked the revolver out of his hand. He then closed and locked the door. Thus, his intelligence, sense of humour, and presence of mind turned the tables on the intruder.

————-xxXxx————